While sitting on my lap last night, Reed and Tessa found some Grease songs on YouTube.Reed chose the song "Greased Lightning." Luckily, I managed to pause-skip the line, "You know that ain't sh!t when we'll be getting lots of t!t." Don't want Tessa and Reed spouting that on the playground at school.
Tessa saw the box for "You're the one that I Want" on the sidebar, so we chose that one next. She's memorized the audio (it's on a CD I made for her), but this was the first time she's seen the video. I'd forgotten what a teeny-weeny waist Olivia Newton-John's had. Literally, a hand-span. Of a kindergarten girl!
I hope the image didn't settle into Tessa's brain as a dormant seed of anorexia.
But back to my main issue.
This morning, she sings repeatedly, "Cuz I need a man!" While I'm pouring milk on her cereal: "Cuz I need a man!" When she's wiping up crumbs from her bagel: "Cuz I need a man!" While she's sneaking into her Halloween stash she thinks I don't know about: "Cuz I need a man!"
Might this refrain bother any of you?
So I says to her, I says, "Tessa. You don't need a man. I don't need a man. A woman doesn't need a man."
She says, "But I want a husband someday. I DO need a man. You have Daddy."
I say, "I don't NEED Daddy. We're together because we WANT to be, not because I NEED him."
She sings, "Cuz I need a man!"
I say, "Tessa. It's OK to be with someone because you enjoy being together. But when you NEED another person, you are giving your power away."
As I said it, I remembered the overwhelming, every-thought-occupying NEED I had to bring Tessa and Reed into my life.
And I dropped the conversation without a leg to stand on.
.
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For your viewing pleasure...
7 comments:
I LOVE Grease. Growing up, we played the album (yes, the black, vinyl disc) repeatedly until we knew every single word!
Now I realize the overall message of giving in to peer pressure, isn't exactly what I want my kids to hear.
We talk to the kids about NEED vs. WANT. Do you NEED it or do you just WANT it? When you don't have "it," it is easy to feel NEED.
But, it's much easier to distinguish NEED vs. WANT when it is someone else's desire. It's tougher when I am the one that desires it.
Maybe the song should be, "Cuz I want a man..." but that doesn't sound right either.
Hmmmm...a great point to ponder.
Well, well, well. Good timing on this one.
First of all, I would have done the same thing - told Tessa that she didn't need a man for happiness.
I had decided a couple of years ago that I didn't NEED a child to be happy, although I never stopped thinking it would sure make it a lot easier to be happy.
And yet I am still getting snagged with "needing" a genetic child. This is one of many reminders in the last couple of days that that too is a want and not a need.
That made me feel a bit better - and then I watched the video and you can't help but feel a happier with a nice jaunty song like that.
Ha ha! Well, until the end - I think there's a difference though.
What a conversation! It sure put a smile on my face. :)
Sheri -- Those Su-um-mer. Ni-ights! (Tell me more! Tell me more! Tell me mo-or-ore!
Kami -- glad the video helped. It's quite peppy, and it takes us back to our own simpler times.
T -- you're probably right. I'd love to see a post about that (hint, hint).
Sunny -- Hope you're having a good birthday, and that you got some chills that were multiplying.
"To my heart I must be true!"
Just prance around the kitchen singing that line until Tessa likes that one better.
(Did that just illustrate how little I know about what I'm in for as a parent??)
Actually, Beagle, that's brilliant. I'm going to try that tonight!
You're going to be a GREAT mom.
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