Entering an online discussion after a time spent lurking, esp. if suddenly prompted to do so.
Your ridiculous comments have forced me to delurk.
I know I'm beating around the bush. What I'm trying to say is, if you're a reader who has never (or rarely) commented, won't you please speak up today? Even just to say "I'm here."
For the third year in a row, I am participating in the Great Blog Cross Pollination, organized by the fabulous Geohde of Mission Impossible.
This means that the post below was written by another pollinator, and that MY post for today is in this other pollinator's space. And that I've met a very talented and witty blogger along the way to add to my blogroll (though I'm still scratching my head on how I've missed her).
So, without further ado, I give you my pollinating twin, writing about...
Mommy Mavericks. In the latest issue of More magazine, the following letter was written in response to an article in a previous issue titled Midlife Mommy Debate, which was about women in their 40s and 50’s becoming new moms.
“These women are incredibly selfish. I was raised by older parents whom I loved dearly. When I was born, my father was 52 and my mother was 45. I lost my father while I was in my twenties (he was 78) and my mother (then 84) in my thirties. After my mother suffered a stroke, I spent the first few years of my marriage taking care of her – and my toddler. My mother died four days after I gave birth to my second child, and I had a heart attack before the funeral. Do these ‘Mommy Mavericks’ realize how said it is that their children’s children will never know them”’ ~ Martha
I know that as a parent, I have a mountain of responsibilities to my two children, but not once did anyone ever tell me or imply that one of them is to make sure I live long enough for my grandchildren to get to know me.
When I was born, only two of my four grandparents were still living – both grandfathers. My paternal grandfather died when I was an infant. The other grandfather, my mom’s dad, I remember distinctly because he had only one hand and when he let me sit on his lap while driving the tractor, he would hold me with his good arm and steer with the hook he had on the other. He always brought us candy when he stopped by the house. Sadly, he died when I was very young as well.
I’ve written before how my husband and I are “Latecomers” as we had our first when I was 34 and our second after years of infertility treatment at 41. My husband turned 45 a couple months before her birth. Let’s say for the sake of argument that our kids will be in their 30’s before having children, and then add in the factor of when children retain a lot of their memories – say 10 – that will put us in our 80s. If we’re lucky.
While I hope that I convey to my children that they should have their children when they are absolutely ready, I know that I may also find there are times it will be tempting to warn them not to wait as long as we did. In fact, I hear my husband say in different conversations how if he was able to do it again, he would not have waiting to try to have children. That being said, I think it would be irresponsible to guilt my children into starting a family just to make sure my grandchildren know who I am.
Getting to know my grandparents had nothing to do with how much time I got to spend with them. It’s how their memories and their spirits are kept alive long after they’re gone. I pray that my children love and respect us enough to do the same.
Once I got over the flash of anger with Martha calling me and others like me selfish, I pity her. She obviously feels that the first precious years of becoming a mother were diminished her own mother’s illness. She states it’s sad that my grandchildren will never get to “know” me, but I think it’s a tragedy that her children will have the memory of their grandmother tarnished by their mother’s bitterness, which really? Has nothing to do with the fact that she was born to elderly parents.
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Any guesses who my cross-pollinator is? And where my post for today ended up? ONLY if you want the answer, click here.
See what my classmates are showing and telling at Mel's Show & Tell. And show something yourself (if you're not already IN the class, you can join -- we're a very nice group).
Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than aboutcreating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.
We gather here once a week to engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling.
Please visit the links of the participants at the bottom.
Here's a perfect moment from my week. I hope you'll share yours, too. ==================================== Today Weebles Wobblog turns 2! It was on this date in 2007 that I gave birth to this creation, 435 posts ago.
Please leave me a present. Tell me if there has been a post that has had a lasting effect on you. Let me know what it was and why you have remembered it.
That will be a truly wonderful gift for me, each generating a perfect moment. Thank you!
==================================== Once you make a Perfect Moment post, you can place this button on your blog.
Since we got there freaky early (2.5 hours), we were #2, 3, 4, and 5 in line to get seats and have our books signed. Who was the gal who got #1? Jolene, a health blogger I have already added to my feeder. Her photo of us waiting in line is here.
It was an amazingly quick 2.5 hours. Before long, we were ushered to our chairs, where I got to sit in the primo-est seat in the room. Front. And. Center.
Heather B Armstrong came out from between the bookshelves, casual and stunning in black (see this photo taken by her husband.). She seemed happy to be in Denver, relaxed. As she had tweeted previously, "Next stop: Denver. Same time zone, relatively same elevation. Throw in several hundred thousand Mormons and it'll be just like home!"
I was struck by their couple-ness. So independent yet so intertwined.
Heather's date with Oprah had aired just hours before, and she told us what the vetting process was like -- akin to the Secret Service granting access to the POTUS.
Heather closed with Q&A from a dozen or so starstruck fans (including me. How can you NOT be in awe of a writer who reportedly makes GOBS of money every month from her blog? Not for just the $$, of course, but the fact that so many people read her, that she is SUCH a phenom).
And then she signed our books. We took our books over to Jon for a signature as well, and because we were in the beginning of the Heather line, people followed us into the Jon line. Poor Jon was not expecting the stream of attention, but I think he was pleased.
The evening didn't suck and I didn't cry. And there was not a margarita in sight. But it was SO worth the babysitter's bill to hang out with my bloggy friends and to get my book double-signed.
Imagine me trading in my knockoff U.ggs and yoga pants for something with sequins and spikes. Imagine I trade holding hands with spaghettio-ed Tessa and Reed for linking arms with a tuxedo-ed Rob. Imagine the bloggerazzi flashing their bulbs in my face as I smile a perfect smile and wave from the elbow.
Imagine that I win! Well, this last part is true. And I don't even have to get gussied up to accept the honors.
Here are some recent recognitions I want to thank the Academy for.
Martha put a lump in my throat with the nice things she said in awarding me Mrs Spit's Toby Award. Namaste to you, Martha (*bowing deeply*).
The Mom Nerd passed on the Premio Dardo Award. I didn't know what this was (and I couldn't tell from the image) so I did what any self-respecting blogger does: I found someone else who had researched it.
This award first appeared in Spanish in February 2008 and in English in November 2008.
Premio Dardo means Dart Award in Spanish.
This award "acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his or her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values every day."
Thank you, Mom Nerd.
DragonDreamer Kristin offered the Lemonade Stand Award, which, I found, goes to bloggers who "show great attitude and gratitude." Some sites say it's awarded for bringing refreshment to readers.
Those are traits I aspire to. Thanks, Kristin, and cheers.
Julia S bestowed the Honest Scrap Meme. It seems that "all chosen for this esteemed award should list a few honest facts (scraps — short truths) about themselves."
I have never had a PBJ sandwich.
I played the piccolo in high school.
I was told by a ski instructor my first time out that I had "rubber knees." The nickname stuck (the comment was overheard by a member of the church group) and it took me two decades to get back on skis.
When I was a Brownie, I won a baking contest for a recipe called, "Rick.ety Un.cles."
I can usually guess the time to within about 5 minutes.
(If these look familiar, it's because I am plagiarizing myself. And "Rick.ety Un.cles" remains the top search term that lands Canadians on this blog. Can someone, preferably a Canadian, please explain that?)
So thank you to the Academy. You like me! You really like me!
Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than aboutcreating one. Perfect moments are just waiting to be observed, and can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.
We gather here once a week to engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world, if only for a, well, a moment. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling.
Now, here's mine.
==================================== I've got some indulgences going on.
Sipping chocolate from my sister. Remember a few years ago when Starbucks had the Chantico, that 6 ounces of decadence? Now I can make myself one of these anytime I think I deserve a little treat. Want some?
And as I sit here, I am doing yoga with my toes. My hope is to create more space in my feet so I can do balance poses more easily. Mom gave me a pair of YogaToes from my wish list, and I've been wearing them for about an hour a day. I must say wearing them feels very weird.
Before the holidays I was gifted with the Superior scribbler Award from my fellow Mile High Mama, Catherine. She won a cow recently, and since she lives in my state, I'm hoping to meet her one day over a burger (she's buying) and talk about her newly published book.
She said some really nice things about me, providing me a perfect moment.
I was indulged yet again by my friend and blog partnerChicklet when she gave me the Red Cape Award. Chicklet is straight and sassy and true behind the scenes -- just like you would expect from her straight, sassy and true blog-writing and commenting. 2008 was a wonderful year for me, in large part because of our blooming friendship. I want to actually MEET her in 2009. Or crash at her place during the Olympics in 2010. Hehe.
I'm feeling the love, people. From my chocolate-coated tongue to my straightened toes, and at my heart in-between.
Perfect. ====================================
Be sure to follow the other stories/links because as we know, perfect moments can be found in giving and receiving comments. So how about you plant some Perfect Moment seeds and know they'll grow?
Once you make a Perfect Moment post, you are qualified to place this button on your blog.
First Melissa throws a surprise Paper Pregnant party for Lindsay, and now this.
Someone out there is performing random acts of kindness, under a pseudonym. What is the world coming to?
During dinner last night the doorbell rang and a package was delivered. I wasn't expecting anything, so I checked the return address.
Hmmmmm........
Tessa and Reed couldn't tear into the box fast enough.
We were so happy to find these...
...to replace these. (One woobie is missing from the photo because as I write, Reed is sleeping with it.)
The kids and Rob kept asking me, "Who's it from? Who's it from?"
And I had to answer, "I don't know! I don't know!"
So I wrack my brain. I know so many wonderful people through blogging. Any number of you might have gone to the trouble to get (or even make?) the woobies, take them to the post office and mail them.
Deduction #2: I do not think the label shows a non-US address, so that lets out acoupleofcommenters (although I wouldn't put such a scheme past the devious Chicklet).
Deduction #3: The package took two mailing days to get here, so that letsoutmylocalpeeps (although it's easy to suspect a couple of them).
Deduction #4: I've not de-cloaked to too many people, so the next question is, who has my address?
But for all my powers of deduction, I am clueless about the identity of my Secret Santa. Who do YOU think it is?
And who will be struck next?
In any case, Santa Baby, thank you SO much for my woobies. They warm my heart in so many ways.
And finally, thanks for not sending a box of mousetraps.
So every couple of weeks (like today) I get a message from Amazon saying,
"We noticed that you were accepted to the Amazon.com Associate Program several weeks ago but have yet to refer a sale."
Just moments later, I read about Mel's Wishing Tree, which got me thinking. I'm gonna be straight with you, straight with myself, and make a declaration.
It is my intention to make a living at blogging, at writing. My extroverted sister, Tami, says that blogging is the introvert's way of being "out there."
I think she's right. I love being "out there" with all of you. Some of you I have met. Some of you I follow in my Reader. Some of you I check in on occasionally. Some of you I know nothing about. I see you on my site statistics, but I know only that you keep tuning in to me. And that makes me feel sooooo good. And grateful.
I love the connections. I love the writing and connecting processes.
And in my entire working life, I have never bounded out of bed to get to my "work" space like I do now.
I figure I have this school year to turn my play into pay. I have this burdensome notion that once both my children are in all-day school, I should earn my keep, that I should return to the status of a paid working person. Right now, with blogging, it's heavy on the "working" (which feels more like playing) but light on the "paid."
Is it wrong to want to save money for my kids to go to college? To maybe go back myself one day for a PhD? To want to have enough discretionary income to travel once in awhile? And yet, to not want to go back to a corporate or academic soul-stealing machine?
I think not.
Back to the Amazon message. To fund my bloggy habit, I have placed some widgets on my sidebars. Some of them benefit me when you simply click them (such as the BlogHer banner top-left and Ads by Google lower-left, in pink). Please click. Sustainedly, each time you visit me.
Some of the widgets benefit me if you click though and buy something.
IF you are looking for a good book, see the Amazon widget with my mini-reviews on the lower-right sidebar ("Shapers of Me" in pink).
IF you are needing yoga equipment or a hotel room, check out my section on the lower-left called "Tessa's and Reed's College Funds."
Oh, BlogHerand BlogHer voters. I thought you were on the right track for the location of BlogHer09. If Denver is good enough for Michelle Obama, Hillary and Oprah, you'd think it would be good enough for 1500 witty, smart, sassy, awesome blogger chicks.
So, dear readers, help me find the silver lining in my loss.
Who do I know in/near Philly? My friend E (who blogs so surreptitiously that she won't give me her URL) is one. Speak up if you're reading and in the Philly area.
Who do I know in/near St Louis? Let me know if it's you.
While I'm sad that Denver won't be the Chosen City for 2009, I am most disappointed that I'll miss the chance to make you each a mojito to enjoy on my deck. (Tip of the hat to Luna.)
Image: I See What You Mean, Lawrence Argent, artist, Colorado Convention Center, 2005. __________________________
Vote for Denver for BlogHer09. We have Red Rocks, microbrews, hiking, a walkable and navigable downtown, dry heat, and, especially for Lollipop, lots of vegetarian options. Hey. If Denver is good enough for the Democratic National Convention, YOU'D be sure to have a good time here next summer.
Get your vote in soon! _________________________
If you are pregnant or soon-to-be, don't miss the All Thumbs book giveaway. The deadline is 8:08 am on 8/08/08.
I'll have a post up on Monday about open adoption, and you'll also hear from other bloggers who have experienced loss, addiction and breast cancer. I hope you're making Bridges part of your daily ritual.
Please forward to me any enlightening posts you read from adoptees, firstparents or adoptive parents -- whether you are the reader or the writer. Thanks for helping to bring attention to compassionate bloggers.
_________________________ I am honored that Mrs X passed to me the Arte y Pico Award. She thinks I'm all around cool (blushing).
The rules are (abridged slightly):
1) Show the award. Link back to the blog that gave you the award.
2) Pick 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award because of creativity, design, interesting material, and contributions to the blogger community, and link to them.
3) Leave comments on the blogs to let them know you’ve given them an award.
* she HATES these things. So, naturally, I always pass them on to her.
_______________________
Are you Twittering? If I'm not already following you, let me know. I really DO care about your minute-by-minute minutiae, as I know you care about mine.
I have a Goo.gle Alert set on the title of each of my blogs. So imagine my surprise today to find that Drama 2B Mama has been mentioned in the Baltimore Sun.
It was an aside, simply to show how the "blog names, in a glance, say it all." Also asided were Io at Who Shot My Stork? and Patience at The Impatient Patient.
"With more than 7 million people [bolded by me] in the U.S affected by infertility, and a growing number of people undergoing assisted reproductive technology procedures, many people are dealing with infertility issues by blogging about their experiences. As she poked around online, Sayers stumbled into an incredibly intricate blogging world: Hundreds and hundreds of people, like her, who were chronicling their battles against biology with pathos, rawness, humor and, sometimes, numbing sadness."
The next meet-up for the ColoBloggers is coming up. We are planning to see Sex and the City at a Sunday matinee on June 8, to be followed by -- what else? -- afternoon cosmos! (Manolo Blahniks not required.)
Please contact me (or other ColoBloggers, listed on the left link below) for more specific information as theater schedules become available.
________________________
If I am feeling exhausted after this holiday weekend, just think how Mel must feel. In the last few days she:
Organized our second week of Show & Tell during Circle Time
Held a book club discussion in her virtual living room and interviewed the author.
Looking for new friends? Feeling like you'd like to get more involved? Pop on over to our "hub" for some great ideas, some wonderful resources, and some loving energy that she always has in abundant supply.
After just a bit of labor, I have added to my blog family.
My third "child" has now drawn its first breath, and I hope it latches on soon. It's the easiest newborn I've ever had because it rarely wakes me up at 2 am for more, more, more.
All Thumbs Reviews is my new place to review products and services. With each post I will tell you about either:
1. Products and services I really like. Two thumbs up.
I am fairly tough to please (just ask my husband or my children), so when I find a worthy product, I want to spread the word.
Good news is fun to deliver.
2. Products and services that really, really disappoint. Two thumbs down.
These can often make for good stories, and I'll be doing a good deed by steering you clear.
Bad news can be fun to deliver.
3. Products and services I'm paid to review. Thumbs TBD.
On occasion, I will offer a balanced and honest view of products and services on which my opinion is requested. The pay is very (very!) modest and goes straight into my kids' college (and/or dental) funds.
Checks are fun to deposit.
___________________ I anticipate writing one review a week, on Thursdays. The posts will not be lengthy, and I hope to make each one entertaining in some way tangential to the product.
So please, bookmark my new blog. You can do so easily on the right sidebar here. Hey -- it's easier than throwing me a shower.
The first review is for something that makes me even hotter to my husband.
If you have a product or service you'd like me to review, let me know. In addition, I accept guest reviews if you'd like to put your own thumbs to good use here.
Thanks for your support of my new creation (and its siblings).
Tom Brokaw told me, as I was reading the airline's magazine yesterday that "by one count, 100,000 new blogs are born every day."
I glossed over that. I mean, yeah, I know a lot of people do it. Yeah, I read a whole bunch or 'em. Yeah, I tell people I know they should start one.
But then I began to think of the trajectory. That's 3 million new blogs a month. At a flat pace, there will be half a billion blogs by the time Tessa graduates from high school. And we know it won't be a flat pace.
Three years ago, Blog Herald estimated that there were 70 million blogs. How many do you think there are today? I couldn't find an educated guess. 300 million? Half a billion? More?
A few months ago I added the Casual Perfectionist to my Google Reader, and Momma put me on hers. While we don't remember how we originally connected (it had something to do with BlogRush), we eventually discovered that we live within a few miles of each other.
So today we met for the first time, on a beautiful sunny day at a local playground. Tessa, Reed and Claire got along well, and we tired them all out (and they, us. My kids have become tree climbers, and I have become a nail-biter).
My sister, Tami, and her family, showed up, too. It was a lovely afternoon, and we plan to repeat it soon.
I hope Momma can report to her husband that I was neither deranged nor hormonal (in a 14-year old boy kind of way).
What's cool is that yesterday it added, Adoption.AllTop.com. All parts of the adoption triad look well-represented: birth/firstparents, adoptees, and adoptive parents. This would be a good start if you're looking for some adoption reading. Let them know if you'd like to add your blog.
This is my 200th post. And I'm about to celebrate my first blogoversary on May 11. This means I post every 1.6 days. (Although I don't know why in the world that matters. Freakezoid that I am, I just like to do things with numbers.)
***
I am honored to receive this award from Andy from Today's the Day. She likes my games, and I like her playing them. She also writes a terrific blog as both an adoptive mom and an adoptee. The other writers she gave the award to are worth checking out, too, so click on over to Andy's post for some great adoption reading.
Now I'm passing this warm fuzzy on to these bloggers:
Pam at Blood Signs for her kind heart and keen mind.
Death Chic, because she will find it super sappy and very annoying, and I am doing it only to get under her skin, which means I am actually the antithesis of what this award stands for. So there, Mortician Girl.
JJ at Reproductive Jeans for her ability to stay centered amid the chaos that is IF, and for the Krispy Kremes.
***
Do you know that we have, in our community, the equivalent of secret love letters? That you can send someone a tribute anonymously? And that you very well might be on the receiving end of such a tribute? I think it's terrific that this community is so full of support and care for one another, when other communities can be so divisive and contentious.
Melissa of Stirrup Queens got this idea from a lollipop tree that grew at a neighbor's house when she was growing up. She is constantly collecting odes from readers to bloggers. When the odes hit critical mass, she posts a bunch of them. The latest batch, and the guidelines, are here. You just never know when the tree will be harvested.
So. On this lovely Spring day, why don't you plant a lollipop, tell Mel about it, and wait for the tree to bear sweets. The great thing about love is that is feels so wonderful to be on both the giving and receiving ends.
LJ's post about this weekend's meeting of the DC Metro Stirrup Queens (Order of the Plastic Uterus) prompts me to announce the upcoming gathering of the ColoBloggers.
Attention bloggers, readers, lurkers, and anyone able to be in Denver on April 19. Here are the deets:
Please drop me a quick email to let me know that you're coming (bestlightlori at the gmail place). Our group is open to anyone blogging about our experiencing IF or any of the myriad ways one can get through IF.
Want to peek into the blogs I read? Check out my lower left sidebar for my new Blog List, currently titled Keeping up with the Joneses.
It's a new feature in Blogger, now being tested. If you use Blogger, you can simply import your Google Reader feeder. You can choose to arrange alphabetically, or as I have by last updated. It will list the blog, the latest post, and how old the post is.
Since Blogger is still prototyping this, I'm giving them this feedback: How about giving me the ability to group my list? For example, in Google Reader I've got my blogs tagged/filed Adoption, Infertility, Birth/firstparents, Adoptees, and Misc. I would like for the blogroll to be similarly arranged.
If you'd like to check this out for you blog, or the other new option of scheduled post publishing , just log in instead to draft.blogger.com.
I'm not usually considered an "early adopter" (haha). So it's fun to be on the cutting edge of something.
***
I'm working on a new edition of Lori's Childhood Trivia. Tune in later this week to play. . .
I know I'm beating around the bush. What I'm trying to say is, if you're a reader who has never (or rarely) commented, won't you please speak up today? Even just to say "I'm here."
